All Warthogs Welcome Here

well okay

2009-12-09T23:21:20Z

I believe that I have only been this pissed at Mike once. Make this twice. SWEAR WORD

disturbing dream

2009-11-21T14:18:24Z

I had a dream about 20 minutes ago. I was looking out at the trees from my deck and I saw what physically was an oversized squirrel, but in dreamland was a rabbit. It was sitting at the very end of a branch facing out. A wolf came and started to creep up behind it. The rabbit didn't do anything. The wolf crept closer until it looked like it was resting his head on the rabbits butt. I was watching the whole thing hoping that the wolf was being friendly and that nothing was going to happen. Again the rabbit never moved, nothing. Finally, after what felt like forever, I see the wolf clamp down on the rabbits tail (again long like a squirrels.)

He starts pulling him backwards back on the branch, at which point I decide that I'm going to try and save the damn thing. I pick up this 20 lb branch and threaten to throw it at the wolf. Somehow I thought I could at least pick it up and poke it with it. Yeah right. Of course the wolf is just looking at me and I feel as though it is almost smiling. Of course no fear in its eyes. At last, I think that I see the rabbit turn and walk, not run, the other direction. I hear the wolf rip the tale off the rabbit and I expect it to start running, but it doesn't. There is not blood. Finally the wolf picks up the rabbit and runs off with it, at which point that are some horrible animal noises, but it felt like it was the wolf laughing rather than from the rabbit's pain. I turned around and started yelling for Mike, who was also watching the whole thing. And then I woke up.

The part about the wolf hunting the rabbit didn't bother me. That is natual. What bothered me was the rabbit never made any effort to save itself. There was no chase. The auditory part of the dream killed me. That's what woke me up.

I'm pretty sure I know why I had the dream.

awww

2009-10-28T17:25:31Z

My Patrons are making me feel all warm and fuzzy today. I'll see if I feel the same after two hours with the boys playing Mario Kart.

Where's 11:11 when I need it.

2009-09-24T16:34:29Z

Black cloud with psychotic tendencies. This is way fun.

9/11

2009-09-11T18:00:04Z

I'm pretty sure that 9/11 should not be equated to Columbine or the Alamo, or at least I don't believe so.

home ownership

2009-08-27T16:47:23Z

dead tree fell. Fell into a row of three trees. Tore branches off of tree number 3. waiting to see if tree number 2 falls as well.

Brain

2009-08-14T17:13:36Z

Brain broke down on the 2nd. Pretty much toast until the 10th. Started feeling better and yesterday was a great brain day. had high hopes. today, not starting off so good. hoping that this too shall pass. somewhat full of the frustration right now.

Creativity

2009-08-08T23:01:44Z

All of the Halloween items are out of the closet, but not everything is unpacked. We're in the process of setting up a second table adjacent to last year's display, and we're tossing around all kinds of ideas. I'm glad that Mike is supportive of the hobby,(I think he actually likes it, shhhhh) because it's nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of. He offers some mighty good suggestions too.

We went shopping today for some more insulation foam. Yay! Now I'm just trying to figure out how we want to place everything. I wish I knew some more tricks and tips, but it's fun to experiment too. Maybe in 10 years I'll be an expert and it will only take me 8-10 hours to set up a display.

Oh what to do, to do.

This so can't be happening

2009-08-05T16:52:10Z

explicatives with gusto

Only 3 more days

2009-07-28T18:43:03Z

and I can start setting up the halloween display. Yay! I am seriously excited.

I collect the Department 56 Halloween Village (thanks to Mom.) Last year was the first year that I did an official display and for a first timer, I think it came out pretty well. This year I got a Dremel and the hot wire set, so I'm looking forward to experimenting with different techniques and making the tombstones for outside. Mike has already helped me move the display tables around, so now all I have to do is start the planning and the unpacking. I am so psyched! Happy Dance.

Allergies

2009-07-26T18:36:40Z

Two weeks ago Mike and I went on vacation. It was a great vacation, relaxing and fun. It wasn't until I got home that I realized another great thing about it. No allergies. No waking up with a stuffy head, red puffy eyes, froggy voice, etc. I didn't realize how bad the allergies were until I had that contrast. I also didn't realize how bad the allergies affect my functioning.

Anyway, I decided to do a major cleaning, starting in the bedroom. So I tore everything apart, dusted, vacauumed, took the curtains down to be dry cleaned, and cleaned the carpet. I suffered majorally for it, but figured it was worth it. I walked in there today and immediately started sneezing, my nose started running, etc. Could I have made it worse? This is incedibly frustrating.

yippee, yahoo, yuppers

2009-06-26T19:10:53Z

So, here I am, somehow having been transformed into a negative person. Really, how does this happen? Pretty sure I have a clue about that one......

Regardless, it doesn't matter, because I am determined to transform back to someone who I used to be. Someone who was positive and fun. I'm pretty sure that I was that person once. I have a vague recollection of her, and on occasion she surfaces and I'm like "HEY! I missed you. Stick around for awhile." Well she surfaced again recently and this time I grabbed hold and am keeping her close. We're all like buddies now and stuff.

So hello fun person (insert really cool and happy stick figure drawing here)
Goodbye negative grump (insert really cool, but grumpy stick figure here)

Let the festivities begin.

ambition level - cerulean

2009-06-07T17:11:01Z

relly doesn't know what to say

Is she crazy?

2009-05-14T21:07:33Z

My Boss wants me to friend her on facebook.

Welcome to Spring

2009-05-03T20:47:58Z

I hate Spring/Summer. Maybe I would hate it less, if it wasn't such work for me. Maybe it wouldn't be so much work, if I actually enjoyed working in the yard. Maybe it would be less work, if I wasn't so damn out of shape. Maybe I would get into shape, if I was less unhappy about things. Maybe I would be less unhappy about things, if I actually did something about it and got my head out of my negative ass. That's an awful lot of maybes. Maybe that's my problem.

I do have moments during weeding where I think that I am happy, because I enjoy tearing things out. I do enjoy trying to identify what the things are that are growing in the mystery garden. On occasion, I do enjoy the hunt of the dandelions. Well, it's not so much of a hunt, since they couldn't be more OBVIOUS, but I do enjoy trying to kill them off. That at least has a result I can see. I just wish that the yard was an 1/8 of the size it is. I am looking forward to see if the 3 flowers that I planted this year will make it, and I hope that the Bee Balm does well, since it looks like it's coming up. There's some positivity for you.

I wish that I could find a permanent happy place with down days, instead of a permanent crappy place with up days. I wish I was strong enough to know what the hell I want my life to be and just make it happen, instead of just trying to make it through day to day as I always have. Maybe that's just habit now.

I hope that I can be happy with Sundays through this summer. They are usually frustrating and disappointing. Maybe I can create some order in my life so I can stop being whiney.

I hate that this venting is full of maybes and wishes, and that the only absolute thing I can say, is that life is not really that bad, but the anxiety is still there and needs to be dealt with. I hope that someday I will realize that everything I feel is not wrong, because well, that really bites.

So on a positive note, the evil, mean, yet pretty Blue Jays are out. The Hummingbirds, Indigo Buntings, and Goldfinches are having a field day. The Oriole feeder is up and ready to go. The Bleeding Hearts, Violets, Grape Hyacinths, Daffodils, Hostas, Ferns, and Tulips are in bloom and making their places in the yard all perty. It's a beautiful day and I after this whiney break, I will go and continue to Weed-B-Gone the yard.

Whiney

2009-04-06T19:10:06Z

Okay, I'm going on day 10 of being sick. Mostly both chest and head congestion, along with being unreasonably tired on a constant basis. Even the 14 hours of sleep I got Saturday night didn't seem to help much. I'm doing everything I know how to do, with the exception of the neti pot, which I will do tonight. It's not bad enough that I feel it necessary to go to the doctor, although I'm thinking about breaking down and doing that soon as well. However, it has been annoying enough to be a constant bother. I woke up this morning feeling much better, and by 11:00, I started going down hill again. I'm at work, I'm almost working and I'm going to tough the day out, but what I really want to do is crawl under the desk, or go home. I'll give it an hour and see what happens. My assistant who would normally do storytimes for me in instances such as this, would end up working an 11 hour day if I go home. I hate doing that to her, unless I'm seriously dying, but since I'm just somewhat put out, then I'll just have to tough it out. The end. no more whining, back to positive thinking and a somewhat productive day.

Avoidance

2009-03-31T17:53:01Z

I am NOT eating the frosting. I repeat, NOT eating the frosting. Despite the three cans sitting here tempting me.

Oh, and sinuses suck. ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow , etc.

whoo hoo

2009-03-02T19:32:38Z

check out the racing thoughts.

ZOOOOOM, Whooosh, ZOOOOOM,

If anyone catches any of them, would you kindly send them back.

oops

2009-02-17T17:42:14Z

Storytime today was, well, interesting. hee hee

Sharing the happiness factor

2009-02-03T18:09:56Z

Yaaay! Hugs all around! Yippee!

Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy

whew, that's exhausting, but I'm not done.

*Zuki dance*

To be continued.......

Yay

2009-02-02T19:15:59Z

To a good weekend and friends!

sigh

2009-01-29T18:06:07Z

no, what I REALY mean is sigh.

11:11 day

2009-01-28T15:10:15Z

and I've only been up a half hour

And I thought I was bad

2009-01-27T19:28:20Z

Mom's already checking out the Halloween stuff for next year.

Note to Self

2009-01-26T22:19:17Z

make sure the oven mitt is on BEFORE you grab things out of the oven.